ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
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It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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