If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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