I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize