Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize