Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My ATM looks so different sober.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
soo... how was my night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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