take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
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