you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize