sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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