your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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