i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
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He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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