I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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