Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.

(248): View more from Michigan

I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it

(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah...you probably will...

(248): View more from Michigan

well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.

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(248): Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me. (248): I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it (734): Yeah...you probably will... (248): well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year. http://tfl.nu/3k5k

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.

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(814): I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party. http://tfl.nu/nrd6

Replies (16) Good night (2963) Bad night (442)
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(917): View more from New York City

Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.

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(917): Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick. http://tfl.nu/d1ac

Replies (21) Good night (5641) Bad night (1202) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them

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(443): they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them http://tfl.nu/300a

Replies (25) Good night (4594) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
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(816): View more from Missouri

Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.

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(816): Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples. http://tfl.nu/my8g

Replies (5) Good night (2025) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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(586): View more from Michigan

somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car

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(586): somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car http://tfl.nu/ci3e

Replies (6) Good night (780) Bad night (2013) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.

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(570): No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am. http://tfl.nu/layb

Replies (6) Good night (1793) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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(586): View more from Michigan

Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.

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(586): Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba. http://tfl.nu/rgqz

Replies (3) Good night (1414) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.

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(270): Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together. http://tfl.nu/2jfm

Replies (7) Good night (2135) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt
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(440): View more from Ohio

That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"

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(440): That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone" http://tfl.nu/gip2

Replies (7) Good night (462) Bad night (1296)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Apparently love is stronger than SoCo

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(719): Apparently love is stronger than SoCo http://tfl.nu/rcou

Replies (8) Good night (1034) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.

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(423): Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/4jzk

Replies (6) Good night (1551) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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(906): View more from Michigan

cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go

(319): View more from Iowa

IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS

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(906): cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go (319): IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS http://tfl.nu/nt8z

Replies (10) Good night (801) Bad night (1597)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.

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(615): There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%. http://tfl.nu/531s

Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (204)
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(+61): View more from Australia

IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES

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(+61): IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES http://tfl.nu/noxs

Replies (6) Good night (720) Bad night (186) Order T-Shirt

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