I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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