Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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