the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
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