he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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