Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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