i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
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Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
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Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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