let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize