Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people

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  (317): I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people http://tfl.nu/qth2
  Replies (34) Good night (6555) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.

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  (415): Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius. http://tfl.nu/jxsz
  Replies (18) Good night (4788) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.

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  (905): He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later. http://tfl.nu/c4t5
  Replies (25) Good night (6218) Bad night (927)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.

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  (856): So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished. http://tfl.nu/vhfi
  Replies (4) Good night (3427) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already

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  (289): So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already http://tfl.nu/wb0t
  Replies (24) Good night (7553) Bad night (1164)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.

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  (801): Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body. http://tfl.nu/oco3
  Replies (4) Good night (810) Bad night (2506) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives

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  (770): Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives http://tfl.nu/9ndz
  Replies (6) Good night (2149) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth

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  (203): I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth http://tfl.nu/68yw
  Replies (38) Good night (5240) Bad night (1416) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.

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  (931): Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex. http://tfl.nu/b52l
  Replies (10) Good night (2620) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...

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  (561): Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all... http://tfl.nu/2j9n
  Replies (11) Good night (509) Bad night (2281) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.

  (845): View more from New York

  Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.

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  (607): Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up. (845): Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity. http://tfl.nu/u2xk
  Replies (5) Good night (1807) Bad night (474)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.

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  (519): I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI. http://tfl.nu/5z2o
  Replies (6) Good night (1821) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.

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  (912): Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio. http://tfl.nu/wkrp
  Replies (5) Good night (1549) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.

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  (609): He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler. http://tfl.nu/dd1c
  Replies (9) Good night (236) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.

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  (240): God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone. http://tfl.nu/9qu8
  Replies (3) Good night (85) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt

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