If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize