looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize