HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize