Rock
Scissors
Fuck
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize