How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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