if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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