I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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