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I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
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