next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize