That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
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Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
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You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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