I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize