I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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