i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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