I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
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Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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