I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
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Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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