Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize