Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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