Texts From Last Night

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  (915): View more from Texas

  I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic

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  (915): I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic http://tfl.nu/4fd0
  Replies (35) Good night (3430) Bad night (1493) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.

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  (315): thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often. http://tfl.nu/bjyl
  Replies (25) Good night (3337) Bad night (2071)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.

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  (608): I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs. http://tfl.nu/xx6g
  Replies (39) Good night (5183) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.

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  (502): Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication. http://tfl.nu/d8fz
  Replies (4) Good night (1817) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.

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  (562): My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me. http://tfl.nu/w036
  Replies (5) Good night (942) Bad night (2317) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.

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  (330): I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned. http://tfl.nu/myfn
  Replies (17) Good night (3840) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.

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  (651): Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone. http://tfl.nu/buth
  Replies (1) Good night (1596) Bad night (459)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.

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  (316): He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over. http://tfl.nu/vzgx
  Replies (5) Good night (573) Bad night (1545) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day

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  (330): BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day http://tfl.nu/u4vh
  Replies (9) Good night (1538) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.

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  (250): You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians. http://tfl.nu/wcxi
  Replies (8) Good night (1496) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky

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  (514): its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky http://tfl.nu/m4rl
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.

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  (906): I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am. http://tfl.nu/v9bt
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (354) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?

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  (303): My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right? http://tfl.nu/xxfc
  Replies (4) Good night (1050) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver

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  (208): Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver http://tfl.nu/xi4h
  Replies (7) Good night (819) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.

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  (248): I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up. http://tfl.nu/qg1r
  Replies (5) Good night (264) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt

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