I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize