Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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