this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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