FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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