Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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