it glows. i had to have it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
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I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
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I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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