I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize