I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
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my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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