We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
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ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
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We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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