I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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