My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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