You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize